Dressing Up-Down

So, when I was in the 8th grade, I was still fuming because my mom didn't let me go to the Michael Jackson Thriller concert the summer before school started.

A few months later, it was time for the annual middle-school county science fair again, and I was like, nope, not gonna do it again this year. I was still bitter and was taking every opportunity to be a little bitchpill™ every chance I got.

My gifted-class teacher told me to stop being a snot-nosed prick and get with the program. I was like, fine. So a day before the science fair, I slapped some shit together and won the whole damn thing.

Then the next day all the winners had to get together and have their pictures taken for the paper, and I was like, I ain't got time for that... I hid in the library bathroom until that crap was over because, again, I was being an incorrigible little asswipe.

When the paper comes out, my mom was like, "Wait, where the hell are you, you won the whole thing and you're not even in here!"

So get this... she calls up the paper and demands they come to my school and take the shot again, going all off on them like they screwed up, and she demands they run my pic in the next edition of the paper all by itself. UGGGGGHHH, MAMA, please.

So that night I made sure my Michael Jackson t-shirt was nice and pressed. I got on the bus the next morning without her seeing me, went to school with it on and when it came time for my close up at 3rd period, I wore that thing so proud like a brand new Easter suit.

The paper comes out the next day and my mom... had... a.... fit. I mean, it was like I had shot the preacher or something. I literally think she cried and was all like, "What is WRONG with you? You can't even wear a decent shirt to get your picture taken for the paper. What, do I have to dress you for school now, too? I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Jason Smith" (yes, that's my real name).

Well, all I can say now as a 43-year-old man is, Mama, that was just me being a butt-headed kid and you were being, well, a mom, and I love you for it.

Nice blue ribbon though, right?