45 Things I've Learned in 45 Years

1. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it's due, while an attitude of gratitude is a downpayment on a life well-lived.

2. You get what you give.

3. The powerful will always rule, but the way you control the narrative is by having something they want. So always have something they want.

4. If the same random thing happens twice in a row, watch out… there's something afoot.

5. The world really doesn't owe you a damn thing.

6. Carry your ID with you at all times.

7. Speaking of ID... at some point the cashier at the liquor store will stop asking to see it and will instead want to know if you need help to your car with your purchase. Just say yes.

8. If you don't think it's going to matter in five years, don't spend five minutes worrying about it.

9. Some of your best decisions are made when you have nothing to lose.

10. The faster you swim, the shorter the race.

11. Never go to City Hall without wearing a jacket and tie, whether it's to dispute an overdue water bill or it's your first day on the job as the new mayor.

12. Price sells.

13. Whenever the opportunity avails itself, sit at the bar.

14. If you got time to lean, you got time to clean.

15. When it's closing time, just go home. It's OK.

16. Thank at least five people every day.

17. When you finally reach that same age that your parents were when they wronged you, it's time to get over it.

18. Karma is cosmic and complete.

19. Break a sweat every day.

20. If you don’t have any money, just stay home and watch TV.

21. Don't ever write anything down that you'd never want someone else to read.

22. Keep your eyes open.

23. You can count your true friends on one hand.

24. Go to the doctor already. And then...

25. ...once you turn 30, have a physical every year.

26. The toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

27. Nobody cares if you’re wearing clean underwear.

28. Everybody needs to be fired at least once in their life.

29. When you're wrong, admit it.

30. Forgive. Forget. Repeat.

31. Routine is the best master of discipline and the worst emancipator of free thought.

32. Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'.

33. There is nothing new under the sun. But...

34. ...there’s something more. There’s ALWAYS something more. It’s out there. Believe it.

35. Sadness comes for free. You have to work for your happiness.

36. God is neither a “he” nor a “she,” but rather a “we.”

37. We all got problems.

38. Pitch to win; manage to profit.

39. Everyone has a story. Stop. Look. Listen.

40. Fear and ignorance are the dueling poisons that rob us of our belief in choice.

41. Don't ever answer the door on a Saturday morning.

42. The fastest way to pay for something is with correct change.

43. It doesn't matter that the job market is saturated. If you're good at what you do and you LOVE what you do, then the market will find a place for you.

44. Everybody just wants to be loved, so...

45. ...be kind.